The more friends I have, the more I personally feel I have to be more independent in thinking, of how the world is, of how the people think, of how to mingle with friends of different group. (I am a deep thinker..). Yes I have many friends, they are good, I love them.
Most of the people think that I am always busy, my life is very colorful, just awesome, n everything... But somehow, it's a misperception I would tell you. There's a lot of struggles that noone could understand but only God. The fear inside my heart couldn't be described through words.
The world is complicated, the people are narrow-minded, all these evil and sinful nature appear just so naturally in every human.
I fear of human's evil and cruel nature. It might because of what I have met during tender ages, seeing those evil people, they never feel sorry to what they have done or spoken to me, or maybe even me, myself. I was lost. I asked everyone leave me alone. I didn't want to trust them as noone could understand me. The craziest ever thing I had done was walking under the rain, hope so the rain could wash every painful scene in my broken heart away. And my parents? They are too good enough that I don't even dare to tell them what's going on to me that time. They are always busy with works and even now, I don't want to blame them for always leaving me alone with my brothers and sisters, I don't feel to blame, I understand everything takes effort and time to learn, even they are my parents, they still learn and try their best to become my awesome daddy and mummy, I really know that...
The passion of mine to help those who are unfortunate is merged from this broken heart. Once my heart has been restored by God, I want to help them, those who feel noone could understand them, telling them, don't worry, I understand how you feel, just that.
I have met quite a few awesome people( Hi Bye friend), yes their lives are so awesome, they join different kind of awesome events almost every week. The passion keeps burning in their hearts and telling them to accomplish at least something, better than nothing for life. Life is meant for so much more. They could impress people around very well, and of course, a wise person that everyone loves to talk to. But, the effort, the hardship, the loneliness, the struggles, they bear it all alone.
I am 19years old. (If I say, I'm Already 19 yrs old or I'm Only 19 years, it does make a difference okay, so I make it neutral.:P) Among the bunch of friends (peer group), I could actually observe the difference in it, people could be many as they grow up with a different family background since young. Before this, I struggle a lot in this issue. I didn't know why there should be such a big difference, e.g.: people can learn to speak English since young, but why I speak Chinese one? Why people can live in a banglo and I Oh no... Terrace house?Yerr... (As you know, those time, for a little Chinese kid will assume those who can speak English fluently are high class people.) My English sucks during my primary school time, and even now, sometimes I find myself hardly speak English fluently when I wasn't ready to switch on the ENGLISH MODE in my brain. Friend, if you find this kind of situation, haha, I feel so sorry. (and yea, so naturally, I feel embarassed for that too, so don't laugh at me larr..yer..)
But no, just a matter of pride.
*open your heart, as wide as I could, be cheerful* God is there giving hints to me so as to do all these.
The joy then is shown through smiley...If you see I smile :) hehee
My dream is big, far more bigger than sometimes me, myself, couldn't even imagine. I used to let go something valuable just to pursue a brighter future. Being a lil selfish. I hold everything tight and I din even notice that, I am lost, I am a stupid.
But few months ago, when I was doin devotions, I actually understand that, the more I cling to, the more I tend to lose, the more I fear. So yea, stick to this mind
" Learning to grow and appreciate...Just everything you have now. Don't expect too much as God He has His plan for you, far more awesome than what you could expect. "
Weee...I Love God :)
I am learning to appreciate those who are important to me, those who I really love. Thank God for them=)
And my studies, now is the peak of the semester, stress level is increasing, and oh no...I am still here! :(
Loves,
Iyee
Rejoice in God's blessings :)
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