When I recalled it, it was -_____- sooo awkward...
BUT, it's good. Yea I feel good..:)
When he mentioned,
“Sometimes you are just too innocent to believe someone who so obviously is a liar...you are too good."
And I din say much as nothing came to my mind at the first moment.
I just said I feel guilty to cheat.
And I need to find a guy who is Christian, somehow I feel, safer if with a guy who loves God, walking together in this journey with God.
[He knows what's going on during my high school life...]
Yes, you said some Chistians don't seem to be very good too, I agree.
Anyway, everything takes time. I wish I really could find someone who is truly understand me and could read my mind. And, I know, it's hard. Getting less people are willing to be patient and listen to you, be friend with you first before getting in a relationship.
We chat quite a lot...Haha. Yea I feel good for that :)
Okay lar, even I so like to tease you, but then you're a good listener though, you understand what am I trying to say.
When I was driving back after that,
"I think I know why I rather to believe instead of judging."
Because to judge someone..somehow, it will eventually turn to a struggle of whether to trust everyone who's beside you. I don't want to. It's a sin to me. I know how bad it made me feel.
And started to recall the painful experience during high school time of how evils and sins destroy my soul and spirit... I nearly cried. I don't want to once turning back to be the one who is nothing, but hopeless. It's just so painful to me. I thought I forgot it, but no. Haa.
When I ask God, God He would take away. I know He will. That's why I ask. He heals my heart everytime I fail to fix my faith and hope to the world, the people, and the reality. God, He is the only reason.
This week is a mess to me. My heart is with burden.
I fear of hurts from some people for the very Xmillionth times. I just don't know what to do except seeking God in silence. I talked to Him. Struggle? Yes I struggle... I fear to see the sins once again destroy my spirit. I need peace.
I am trying to leave the crowd and facebook, trying as much not to log in so frequently, except when there's a need in group discussion for assignments.
I really need it- the peace and words of comfort from those I love, just that.
Yes I won't deny my semangatness is so SEMANGAT, but when it actually comes to a certain period of time, I feel dry and empty.
Hopefully a jog for tomorrow's morning would give me a refresh. Good Night.
And pic for this post...Sometime I just feel old when seeing this bunch of children.
They laugh, play, talk, eat... like being charged with ENERGIZER BATTERY. haha. I feel blessed to be with them. They are simple. I love them.
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